Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
