I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
