in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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