i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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