I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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