sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
