Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
