I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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