carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
