yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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