Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
