I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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