she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
