the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
if only i could text you this smell
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
