when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
not ubering you a puppy
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
