They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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