We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Less talking, more tequila
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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