Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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