do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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