Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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