He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
