Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
