You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
