why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
