That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
birth control should be required to get into college
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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