I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
