Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
