somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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