I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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