so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
