Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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