Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
