the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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