Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
