Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
