I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
