I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
