News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
