brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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