i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
