Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
