And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
