Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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