; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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