Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I love you. Go after that dick
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
