Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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