he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
