So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
