so explain again why im purple
no
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
