I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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